You wanted the drama! Jess, Evan, and Mike recount some of the more dramatic (and traumatic) experiences they've encountered while working weddings.

Welcome to wed talks and Jess. I'm Evan. And I'm Mike. And this is the drama episode, draw.

Draw. You know, you always wondered what the D was. The Big D is drama, you want the D you get in it.

There's a little hesitation for me for doing a drama episode because it's like, I don't want to, you know, we're not gonna use names, right? We're not gonna, you know, pull people out. But when I asked in my story, what did you guys want to hear about for a podcast? Everybody said they want the drama. So here we are. Yeah. And most of these stories come from our past. So we were working right, other people. In other situations where we didn't necessarily have control over what was going on. We're basically pawns. Yeah. Yes, is not a reflection of really any of our current couples that we actually really love and enjoy. Going back five, seven, in some cases, eight years. But this is the drama that sticks with. Yeah, and the drama is not very couple centric, either. Yeah. It's not really mostly from other people involved with these weddings. So the couple has the most contact with the vendors and they respect the vendors.

For the most part, and it's in that way that you usually don't hear much from from the bride and groom in a negative way. But, you know, Mom, mom, mom's dad, and dad's really like to treat us like, we're not human. You're just the hired help. Yeah, yeah. On TT. No, Auntie, Auntie Tina's treat us like we're hired help for the day's worse. So that will bring me right into my first and maybe even like one of my worst drama moments. Was dad at a hotel for getting ready photos. I was second shooter. I was with the groom. Really, that's the kind of candid photos that we're taking just groom getting ready. You know, nothing staged. Nothing's like formal photos at that point. But the bride's dad came in, and was like, oh, are we getting ready? Are we getting ready? And I was like, well, it's really about the groom. But you can come get ready here if you want, we can, you know, get photos. Um, but he never came back, he left to get a suit and he never came back and I am on a time limit. We have timelines to follow. So I had to get the groom ready.

You know, get them downstairs to get on the shuttle where I was supposed to ride with the guys on the shuttle to the venue But dad found me in the lobby of the hotel and got an inch away from my face screaming at me about me not waiting for him to get the getting ready photos. And I tried to explain to him that these are not the formal photos This is really about the groom getting ready it's just you know candidates not staged stuff and he purchased seated to scream for probably a good four minutes at me. language you know, fuck you, like how'd you get all this stuff ready without me And

finally, as I was like, looking to the groom, to like, roll his father in law, the groom came over and was like, you know, it's not we're gonna get photos later, like you didn't miss anything.

And it was at that point that I texted my lead shooter and was like, I am not getting on a shuttle with these people. So I'm riding with you to the venue which Thank God you know, she completely understood and was like I would don't want you to get on a shuttle with those people. But um, Dad continued to to let me have it throughout the rest of the day, pretty much and come cocktail hour, I felt a hand around my upper bicep area where he proceeded to grab me and pull me around all of cocktail hour to get photos of him with his friends. And as I tried to explain to him this, this was not part of my job. I was just supposed to be doing candid, you know, photos of people enjoying cocktails. He said, No, I want these photos of me and my friends. So for 45 minutes, I followed dad around and took photos of him with his friends that cocktail hour eventually word got back to the bride and she did come to me later and apologize for her father's behavior which I felt so bad because obviously that was super embarrassing for her to do that. But

you know, just

I think that that's just one of the things like, she's she sees us as somebody that's there for her for her wedding day. And like, you know, capturing her moments and dad's just like, You're here to do what I tell you to do. So, and this is a, this is something that happens every once in a while and not to that and disagree. Thankfully, yeah, that was the worst one for me. But it's important to note that it's, it's really awkward for us to be in those situations where we really can't leave. We can't go anywhere, you have us cornered, we just have to take it. Now we have a thing in a clause in our contract that says if we have this level of abuse, we can leave

the wedding, we notify the bride and groom and we say, Hey, this is going on. If it doesn't stop, we have to go.

It is a workplace. Yeah, I think that's something that that, you know, people don't think about, right? Why don't you just remove yourself from that situation? Well, it's easy to say, but you're there to do a job a once in a lifetime job to like, you can't come back tomorrow and start all over again, like you're here to catch this. And we, you know, love our couples. So, you know, granted, this wasn't like my couple, it wasn't a lead shooter. But obviously, I'm still there. for them. I my goal is to fulfill their wishes for the day. And we kind of have to navigate between between parents a lot, because a lot of times moms like to try and take a lot of things over.

We have quite a few Brides, who actually have us, you know, come to me and ask if we can kind of act as that buffer. You know, because moms will be like, Oh, I want this photo with with Aunt Sally from from, you know, Tennessee that we haven't seen in six years. And the bride doesn't want any of that. And so it's my job to shut mom down and fulfill the wishes of the bride. But then I also look like a horrible badge.

Yeah, that's the linemen who cross and that's Yes, yeah, that's a part of the job that people you don't really realize, like, you kind of have to be that buffer. Even if the couple doesn't directly tell you. You kind of like feel it. And you kind of have to step in there and make sure things are going smoothly. Yeah, I mean, there was there was a bride we had where I could tell she was just getting overwhelmed with the amount of family photos that mom just kept bringing people, you know, cousin she hadn't seen in so long. And I finally had to turn them on and be like, Listen, we're on a timeline. We can't keep doing this. I have to get these guys's photos like, yeah, we're shutting it down right now. And the bride thanked me later for realizing that she was so stressed and overwhelmed. But, you know, I don't I don't want to look like that bitchy person, parents. But I'm also like, kind of that bitchy person. So the great part of having a business now that where we have control of is we can talk about these things with our couples ahead of time, especially the family photo section. And ask them specifically, what do you want? Yeah, as opposed to like, Mom, or grandma or whoever.

And then we know the definitive list of what they want covered. And we can take care of it. And anything beyond that, if we have time. Great. If we don't, then we don't Yeah, I mean, that's part of us being a very transparent companies that I'm just very open to telling you guys what is gonna work what's gonna look good. Like, if you have you and all 17 of your cousins, there's not going to be a great photo like it's, it's no, great, you're not going to be framing that photo. So, you know, let's pare it down from there and, and things like that. So it's hard to navigate sometimes, but continuing with harassment.

The harassment never stops. Well, I think it's to be expected sometimes from from drunken buffoons, but right, yeah, guests are a whole other

ball of wax when it comes to this. Yeah. And it's another thing of navigating where it's like, guests. I always look at guests, especially wedding party. Yes, that you know, maybe are dating or engaged or potential future clients. So right you know, you you, you want to impress these people, like it's kind of your job interview.

But then when somebody grabs me on the dance floor and kisses me, and it's really hard not to smack that motherfucker.

That's That's a hard one to navigate.

There was some very, very, very nice abbreviated individuals on the dance floor.

And one of the guests just decided to

make his way across the dance floor dancing towards me and put his arm around me, grab me and kiss me.

And in that moment, you're really quite shocked, like, did that just happen? What do you do to react? is like, your instinct is to push somebody away, right? And be like, get the fuck away from me. But then you're like, you're in this setting of a wedding. So that's like, Can you do that? Like, what happens if I do do that? And so, you know, and then and then you just are like, I don't want to make an excuse for this guy, but he's drunk out of his fucking mind to like,

so that was a pretty

awful moment. Yeah, there's something about there's something about the the wedding reception environment, where it's kind of like, I don't want to say like a lawless place. Yeah. But you know, like, there's the open bar. Everyone's like, really happy. And just like, I don't want to say like, no inhibitions. But yeah, everything is just kind of like a different vibe. It's very good. Yeah, like, you know, because also, if it's me, I'm usually on the dance floor with my camera kind of dancing too. So it's, it's not like, you know, I just can't I hear the beat managers can stop. Right? And everyone kind of like, knows each other. So it's not the same environment as if you were like, at a club. Yeah. Dancing with like, complete strangers, like you're not gonna be out there kissing complete strangers in that common? Well, I mean, some of these people probably do. I was a complete stranger. But you know what I mean? Like, the environment kind of changes people's mindset of like, how they can act. Yeah, I've seen over the years, with female, other female shooters that I've been paired up with, or other photographers, tons of examples of sexual harassment from Yeah, grabbing, but slapping just the comments, especially about a tire, even. It's very sad. It's very sad. And there's really nothing you can do. I will say that most of these incident incidences, Jess and I were working for the same company. And they happened when I was not on the wedding.

And

there's that element to like, the, like, if I'm there, even, even if they don't perceive us as the couple that we are. There's an obstacle there. But they'll run amok if it's just a female crew. And that's, it's really sad. It's really sad that people don't treat professionals like professionals. I mean, the other thing that that I've kind of noticed, as well, and this isn't all the time, but this is a little bit more of the time is the more high end the wedding, also kind of the shittier, they treat. And, you know, I'm thinking of one wedding in particular, that was at a premier venue, really high end. And my lead shooter basically got pinned against the wall and like groped

you know, by one of the guests on the dance floor. And,

you know, they just just don't care, like you are the help, you're going to do what I want you to do. Like, and they think it's all fun and games. And that's where we kind of have to also be like,

or, or we run the risk of being that like, right up photographer who's like, Oh, she can't take a joke that like bitchy photographer, she was like, yeah, so it's a really hard line to navigate. Like, how do you react to something like that? So the guests and the bridal party and the couple, like, they all see it as like a fun, casual event, but this is our place of work. You know? Yeah. And we take that very seriously. Yeah. And, you know, like, this type of behavior wouldn't be happening at your workplace. It does. But, you know, hopefully, there's an HR department. We don't have an HR department, we are the HR department, like you say, I'm the HR department all the time. And I know it's Jess is not qualified.

department. And that's I'm the Toby of the group.

Toby, I'm the Toby. That's kind of the guest assaulting us thing. Thankfully, we have fantastic couples. And I'm not just saying that because you're all listening. You love us. I'm saying that because we actually do really like that our couples if we don't vibe with somebody, you know, I'm not afraid to be like, Hey, I recommend you work with this photographer because I think you'll buy better with that person.

But Mike and Evan have experienced quite a few brides villas over the years in the past. Yes. So when you when you first start a company, you're more apt to take on couples that maybe you would think twice about

About. And thankfully, we've been in a position in our company where we haven't had to do that. Like Jeff said, we only work with people we vibe with who, you know, match our values. And we'll get along with his friends, Mike and I were working at our old employer, and we came across maybe some of the most ruthless, crazy brides villas

you'd ever meet. And thankfully, a lot of that ire wasn't directed at us, because we were mostly editors at the time, right. But there was one of faceless and nameless. Yeah, they didn't know who we were, for the most part, this case, she who will not be named, this, this couple was well to do, they had money. And I mean, she had two dresses, one was 50, grand, and the other ones was 30. So and she trashed one, she jumped in the ocean with one. So that tells you a lot right there.

Anyway, she was a she was a piece of work. She wanted, what she wanted. And we had to try and give her what she wanted. And I had the joy of both shooting and editing that. So I was there for all of this.

And she was just was demanding beyond reason. Yeah, I want to pipe in for a second and say it's not we want to give you guys what you want. But we want you to value our work, right? So I don't if you're looking for a completely different style, than what you see on our website as examples of our work. We don't want to we don't want to work with you. Like I don't want you coming to me, you know, post production and being like, I want this, everything in this video changed. If you have one or two minor changes, or you don't like a shot or you want something taken out. That's one thing, but right, this particular bride, whichever one can go on about. Part of what she paid for is what's called raw footage, which is essentially taking all the clips off all the cameras, there was three of us that day. So there was considerable footage. It was a 12 hour day, and each of us shot around four hours of footage, you know, throughout those 12 hours, which is typical, usually its average three and a half, four hours for an eight to 12 hour day, depending on what happens. Like obviously, you're not going to shoot while you're traveling or when people are eating. So there's some downtime. She got her rough footage and she said there was three of you there for 12 hours. I should have 36 hours of footage. Where is it? And we're like, uh, you mean you didn't wear a body cam for the entire day? And then GoPros did not exist in that year. How long ago this was right. Or at least the GoPro one was around? I don't know. But yeah, that was this thought one and then thought two was she got her video at the time we delivered on DVDs. What did we get back not not three months later, but 14 pages of single space handwritten notes

on like not not like on a notepad or you know, something like that, like these were faxed over on different scraps and sheets of paper there's like the yellow notebook and the printer paper and the like the backside of like a bank note like 14 pages of this stuff. And and

oh my god, I was like, I don't even know how to cite the thoughts were out off the wall. She wanted us to digitally remove some things and digitally add some other things. And this is this is like 2012 we didn't have

that. We don't have the technology nor the budget. Nor like the manpower to do these things. You were not Hollywood. Yeah. So the day of the wedding, I had the great displeasure of putting the microphone on the on the groom and

having that audio running into my ears while before the ceremony started. And in that 15 to 20 minutes. The groom, he went from guests, the guests have all 200 guests that he personally selected to be there. And he like roasted each one of them. Oh, that guy got his tie from Walmart. Whoa, whoa. Oh, that guy fucked his cousin Huh? Oh, it just went oh my god, I had to listen to this. And I I was it was unbelievable. I was like this. This guy is one of the worst human beings I

and and you know what? She deserved him? And yes, sometimes, if we make up the groom early, we do hear him use the bathroom before the most common is that we usually hear the groom. Use the bathroom before the surgery and that's fine. Yeah.

The things we hear are fine. It's like maybe a little nerves or say, oh, Do I look okay? Yeah, Thai Street. But sometimes Oh my god, one time I heard a groom the whole time. He's waiting there at the front of the church

with his best man, and he's just muttering under his breath, like, Oh my god, I made such a fucking mistake. Like, I should have left her five fucking years ago. This is so stupid. This is she wanted this. I don't want this like I, I was I was mortified. Hearing that, yeah, I would get that sometimes as a second shooter being with the guys, you know, because I'd be quiet and I'm there to kind of just observe and take candid shots. And I think sometimes they would forget, you know, if I was in the room, and there was one in particular where, you know, seven hits seven guys. And at one point, each guy was like, are you sure you're gonna do this man? Like, but not in that joking? like, Uh huh. Yeah, I was like, really think about this, like you do you know? And then there was one point the groom, like, left the room. The guys were like, Oh my god, she's such a bitch. I can't believe he's doing this. Like, she's such. We're never gonna see him again. Like, it was uncomfortable. And one of the questions in our story, you know, what did they want to hear about? And we got the drama episode was people wanted to know, how do we know when a marriage isn't going to work out?

And really, we don't? Yeah, there's no saying because that guy he's still married. that we know of. Yeah. Yeah, he's on social media. He know he's married. But then there's some other people it's just that you. they've they've been, they were great the day of and they're not. Yeah, there was the one time I had the microphone on and I was working with an younger, younger gentleman at the time. And the the groomsmen were all lovely Gaiman and they were talking about in the backroom, they're like, oh, that videographers but it's so nice.

But story I was getting

in as like, is he talking about me? Or is he talking about my friend over here? I don't know. So they left us guessing the whole time. Yeah. So you were your second at the time was a very nice looking. Oh, very handsome man. He had a nice butt too. Like I have a nice, but he had a nice, but it could have been? I don't know. I don't know, to this day. I wonder

if you're listening to this, and that was you please call us and tell us what we're talking about.

He wants to know,

just set the record straight. I almost went up and asked them it was a small wedding. Like

Excuse me, I need to know for my confidence. Who are you talking about? Sometimes the drama gets a little darker too. Sometimes people get injured at weddings or

something a little more tragic happens. People get injured all the time. Actually.

Very common, very common on the dance floor on the dance floor. Yeah. My sister called me to tell me that when she was working in urgent care, she saw some lady that came in and had gotten her

foot stepped on by like a stiletto. And she came under urgent care. She'd like a little heel hole in the top of her foot. She was at a wedding. Oh, obviously we feel bad for anybody that gets hurt. But if you're a drunken idiot, I feel a little less bad for Yeah, like slipping and falling on the dance floor after you spilled your drink. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. But our little flower girl. Yeah, they got hit by a bike and had to go get stitches. Oh, it was the worst because we had already gone. So we were done with pre ceremony, footage and all that. And we had gone ahead to the venue. And we're waiting. And we're waiting. And we're waiting some more. And we come to find out this poor girl. Right after we left like moments after we left. A bike came down this little tiny road actually was really tiny.

And the poor girl did she just got clipped by the bike. It was a freak accident. He tiny. Was she not even four? I think she was like four or five. Yeah. Yeah, it was. It was very but but she was a champ. I wouldn't say she was a trooper because they patched her up and she did her flower girl job. She was there. Yeah, she came. She came back. She had stitches and oh my god. She was she was like nothing happened. She was dancing around the floor and who knows how many painkillers she was on. A future hockey player. Yeah, she she off was a tough, tough little thing. So that brings us to some venues drama.

Hmm, one venue that vendor on vendor crime, basically. Yes. Yeah. Because I actually do not ever want to shoot for this venue that I'm thinking of ever again. First of all, they used my photos without giving us any photo credit, which is a big No, no, I'm on social media. Social media. Yeah. It's okay. When when our couples don't give us credit, because it's your filler. Right? Yeah, it's fine. But when it's another vendor using your stuff, without permission, it's it's, that's, that's not Yeah, we don't like ask for money for like to use it for the rights. It's just like, just tag us and right. Well, that's credit like that's literally think basic, you are using my photo to promote your venue, right? You're using it to get people in the door and book for you, which is great. But I want those people to know that is right. That is me legitimately copyright infringement. So you know, this venue, despite my multiple emails and messages never gave me any photo credit or got got got back to me even with any of the emails, um, but the day of the wedding, we showed up, and I think the three of us were just like, wow, this whole thing is under construction. Yeah. You know, how you have that, like, loop de loop driveway that people pull in? There was not that it was a hole in the ground? Yeah. Dirt fencing, backhoe fencing? Yep. ugly. Yeah. So when you pulled in as the first thing you saw, and I felt so bad for our couple, because we love them so much. And they were told that construction would be finished by their wedding date. And they didn't learn that construction was not finished by their wedding date until the night before. Right when they went in to set stuff up. Yeah, that's, that's bad. They learned that it was so you know, most of the time, I am protective of other vendors, like, you know, because that's, yeah, are all in this together. Together, you know, and venues have a lot of overhead. And I understand things from venue perspectives. But this one I looked at my bride was like, I hope they're giving you some friggin money back. Because this was, I mean, the back half of the building was fine and great. Yeah, that's where he did the ceremony and most of the photos, but

it just, you know, driving up there, you were literally like, Is there a wedding happening here? Like his place doesn't look open? So yeah, I mean, in the cocktail hour partially took place outside next to the construction. Right? Yeah. So the guests are like sitting there next to construction. And granted, it wasn't active for at the moment, but still like, yes, you're there's people leaning on temporary fencing, drinking a cocktail like, it's, it wasn't a hospital setting. I mean, and obviously, it's not great. For background for your photos. Like I don't want to take a photo of a backhoe behind your cute cocktail hour signage. Like it's ridiculous. I don't I don't want to put DJs on this. But you are either great DJ, and we love you, or you're not a great DJ, and we don't love you, we understand that. Each vendor is there for the couple. But

in order to make the entire thing go as good as possible, the vendors have to work hand in hand with each other helping each other out. Yeah, please see our episode on teamwork. Yeah.

My big issue sometimes with DJs is that, you know, they don't want to leave their DJ booth when when it comes time for us to have vendor meals and things and that's fine. Like, that's where all your stuff is whatever. But if we're off in a different area, having our render meal, and the next thing I know like in the background, I hear, can the bride get her dad to the dance floor and I'm like, shit, I have mashed potatoes in my mouth. Like running in there. I hate that level of not communicating. So that's when I get really upset with DJ. This is like, you know that this needs to be photographed and video, right? Why are you starting without us? And unfortunately, a lot of that has to do with coordination too. It's not always a DJ sometimes. Yeah, the coordinator forces his hand his or her hand to start something. Because they're they're counting to the minute and you know, the the coordinator should know where we are. I mean, we have to eat. We're there for eight hours. If we're there. We're eating for 1015 minutes there, which is not a long time. Yeah. Just don't do anything. Just give us a minute. Yeah. I guess my

My final story that kind of takes the cake

was a couple years ago, again, second shooting for somebody else. And a guest who was not actually invited, showed up to the wedding. So the bride and groom

let her be there. Because they didn't want to make things uncomfortable or awkward and it was just one extra person.

But she made things awkward and uncomfortable herself. She proceeded to get probably the most drunk I've ever seen anybody ever get drunk before.

She was a zombie. Yeah, she she was kind of a zombie. There was a point when when cocktail hour was happening, and I was photographing the details of the reception. And you know, everybody's in the cocktail hour, and she's in the reception space with me. Like, she's just screaming at herself. She's going around Table to Table, somebody stole my fucking purse, she's underneath. And this was cocktail hour, she was already wasted. You know, she's underneath every single table, looking for her purse, insisting that somebody stole it screaming that somebody stole her purse. The highlight of the night came when you know, the dance floor was open dancing was going on.

I'm one of those people who always kind of tries to go outside and get like a nighttime shot that shot of the venue to kind of wrap up your gallery and such. Yeah. And I went outside, still hadn't found her purse, she was in the parking lot.

And she had lost her keys to her car. So were me and some other guests. And then some staff of the venue proceeded to watch her, rip her antenna off of her car and try to smash her car window in with the antenna.

It was at that point that the staff went to notify the bride and groom about her behavior of what was happening. And the bride and groom were so over it that they were just like, if you have to call the police, like, please, we don't even want this person here. And I kind of lost track of her for a little while. I thought that maybe they had called the police. Like somebody took her home or something. And then before I knew it, she was like, on the dance floor. And you know how some of these drunk people really think they come in?

Like, do I photograph? Or do we just stand and watch this nightmare happen? So it was just like the whole day. She was just drunk the whole day total train wreck. hot mess. train wreck. Yes. And that's the T. That's the drama, what the drama.

And that's kind of just like the tip of the iceberg. I mean, there are a lot of things that we've seen and heard, not maybe not even that we've experienced personally, but just heard from other vendors and stuff. Yeah, I mean, I've heard a lot through a lot of the photographer Facebook groups that I'm in and things like that. And just like any workplace has its drama. You know, ours is just a high pressure situation. Our workplace is your personal life.

Where are we talking to you next time Mike Shannon Elaine of beauty, by Shannon Olay outro music

Transcribed by https://otter.ai